How the COVID-19 Pandemic affected my mindset in 1.5 years as a teacher

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How do you continue to grow in darkness?

Listen to the Podcast version here.

In The Beginning

In the beginning, the news kept sharing about people dying of a weird contagious disease. In some meat market, at the heart of Wuhan China. I honestly did not think too much of it. I was actually feeling pretty sick and tired during that time from a stressful semester of teaching. When the news came that we were planning to close the school, I felt a sense of relief. I finally can just…rest. No more driving over 2 hours every day to and from school…among other trouble some things…that shall be left unsaid. According to the current guidelines of the CDC, it reports that “When you wear a mask, you protect others as well as yourself.” However, in the beginning, CDC never stressed its importance, so I was left wary and confused…should I wear a mask? Especially since I was feeling a bit sick. (And no, I didn’t have COVID, it was just a regular cold that I caught from working too hard.)

Things I Wished I told my Past Self

*Enjoy the moment.
*Don’t overstress yourself.
*Don’t get lost in the politics.
*Take time to heal.

Feelings And Experiences In A Closed World

As I was teaching online in the beginning, I felt a sense of joy. Before this, I thought I lost the joy of teaching. But time away from the stressful physical teaching environment has healed me, and my passion bloomed once more. As a very introverted person, I enjoyed being in the closed world of my home, at least in the beginning. Unfortunately, I did start yearning for more fresh air and the outside world, and treasuring the moments that I did step out for a short while. After more than a year, it was definitely time to step back into the physical world of teaching once more. This time, stronger, and more refreshed.

Surprises In A Pandemic:

I was kind of surprised that I was able to heal from so much contained stress. I thank God for this time of rest. So much has happened…so much racial violence…so much hate…so much injustice…The pandemic had a blinding light over the growing darkness of this world. I will continue to do my part to live my life shining light over such darkness, in my teaching and personal life.

What I l learned “in the end”

As I was sealed away

Yearning and pulling

I breathed out dismay

And breathed in spring


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